Vending Machine Woes

So I'm sitting in school today (Saturday) half-heartedly making note cards for my Property final and reminiscing about yesterday's shenanigans, when I realize how unbelievably thirsty I am.  While the ten beers and two mixed drinks from last night have led to a surprisingly hangover-free morning, the remnants of last night's drinking binge has manifested itself in today's unquenchable thirst.

I decide to wander down  the hall to the vending machines. I ponder my choice of beverage for a good ten minutes or so, and narrow down my options to a Glacier Freeze Gatorade or a Vitamin Water.  Since I've already drunk 1 Gatorade already this morning, I decide that the water would be a more prudent choice. Also, drinking something infused with vitamins makes me feel healthy and in a way, counteracts the damage done to my body from drinking a case of beer and smoking a pack of cigarettes.  So I swipe my credit card and hit A3. The drink is nudged forward, and then... NOTHING. 

It is stuck in the machine.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO" I yell as I dramatically collapse against the machine, my arms wrapped around it in an awkward embrace.

The study group next to me peers around the corner; curious.

"My drink... it's... Stuck!!" 

They don't care. They just want me to shut up. Well I won't. This drink must come out. Are the vending machine Gods not watching over me today??? Do they not see my parched lips and unbridled thirst? 

I start heaving myself against the machine.  Trick of the trade. Unfortunately, the machine is in a hallway, so I can't get much of a running start. My mind flashes back to an email that was sent out by administration a few weeks ago, warning students not to bang on the machines when the drinks are stuck. I look up. Am I on camera?? Probably. But I'm soooo sooo thirsty. Taped onto the vending machine is a disclaimer, presumably in response to the number of drinks that get stuck in these machines. It reads:  "In the event that your beverage gets stuck, please go down to the school cafe and fill out a Reimbursement Form". 

2 Problems:  it is Saturday and  the school store is closed, and THEY DON'T SELL VITAMIN WATER.

Despite my best efforts, the drink is still in the machine. I had to give up. The reason the drink is stuck in the first place is due to a complete and utter design defect. The glass on the face of the machine needs to be pushed out 1-2 inches, because the drinks don't have enough room to fall down.  I must find who manufactured these faulty contraptions, and write to them immediately. If your sole job is to make vending machines, shouldn't it me of the utmost importance to determine whether the dimensions are correct for proper vending?? 

Out of spite, I refuse to put any more money into ANY of the machines in this school today. I will have to nurse what is left (about 2 sips) of my Zephyrhills water bottle for the next four hours.