I'm a Failure.

So you know that old saying, "I gave up drinking, smoking, and having sex, and it was the worst 5 minutes of my life"? I find this quote to be very applicable to my life at the moment. Well, besides the fact that I have been in the thralls of an eight month dry spell and am not emotionally ready to give up smoking. So okay, I guess this quote only applies to me in the context of drinking.

You may or may not know that last weekend, I made a pact with myself to give up drinking until finals were over, (mid-May). Well that lasted a day and a half; a pathetic run even with my track record. It was a bad idea and one that I should have known better than to think I could accomplish. On Monday evening, I went out to dinner with the best intentions of drinking water and eating a salad.

Somewhere between asking for a table at the bar and requesting to see a drink menu I got derailed, ending up consuming two double-tall vodka tonics and mauling down some (delicious) steak quesadillas.

My critical error was in my choice of venue; Chilli's. Its close proximity to my front door and all day two-for-one drinks makes it a red flag for the slippery slope to falling off the wagon. Not to mention the fact that the wait staff are real pushers when it comes to ordering doubles. They like promoting the double drinks because a) they are more expensive and lead to a higher tab and b) theoretically, the customer drinking the double tall is going to drink more slowly than if drinking a single, thus creating less work for the waiter/waitress. This doesn't always seem to be the case; however.

The waitress comes to the table and I put in my drink order; vodka tonic with a lime.

"Would you like to make that a double"? she asks.

"A double?!?" I shout, incredulously. (keep in mind it is Monday, finals are looming, and I have only just decided to jump back on the liquor train).

"Yes", she began patiently. "A double is when we put two shots in the glass instead of bringing you two normal drinks one at a time".

"I know what a double is", you moron. I wasn't raised by wolves. "Fine fine, bring me a double" I barked. She was testing my patience.

Long story short, I finished my first "double" in about 2.2 seconds, and beckoned her back to the table before she could scamper off into the Chilli's waiter abyss.

Bottom Line: Chilli's has sneaky sales tactics and I can't say no to alcohol.